When you allow the love to reign on you

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When you allow the love to reign on you
 
By Kamala Sarup
 my story was translated by Keshab Sigdel.

Is it possible to love someone whom one has never seen? This question has been pricking me since a long time. Is it possible to love such a person? I am wrecked by this question again and again.

“My only love of this world…!” She could not believe this line. She has never seen him; she never felt him closely. How could he write this to her? She could not trust the message on her email. “When you allow the love to reign on you, sorrow will be naturally wiped out. I hope my message soothes your feeling, as does the morning breeze. I too hope you will give me a space in your heart. This will be the foundation of our love.”

The email was unexpected. Moreover, the message was astonishing. She did not know how to react to this email. Her palpitation grew. Heart started pumping in a faster pace. But, it is surprising how an email from an unseen person makes another person so sensitive.

She does not know what it means for her. Though she tried to ignore the message for quite some time, but she could not resist for long. Nevertheless, she realized that love is more an emotional response that can take place without any physical proximity and relationships. She responded to the email: “I do not exactly know if I should have responded to your email or not. But as a courtesy, I am writing you to say ‘thank you!’” Their exchanges continued with growing frequency. “Whenever I feel for you, the moment becomes more significant for me. I find myself rekindled. I feel revitalized. I do not know if it is just a hallucination!” She wrote it to him one day.

Cool breeze is blowing outside. She can see the stretch of the road to the south of her room. The road is busy. She often keeps watching people and the traffic on the road without any purpose. She probably wanted the people on the road to stop and think for a while. Think about the meaning of their life. Think about why they want to live. But a road is a road. The road is there so that it can allow people to move. Probably, the road doesn’t have a heart.

It has become her daily routine to watch the crowd; the children walking with their parents on this particular stretch of road. The street is most often busy; people on the street appear even busier. They do not look at each other; they have no time to smile or even frown at others. But she has enough time to wait and watch. She can spend hours to think of them whom she has never met or seen.

“I think we have the similar structure of feelings. We think in similar way. Does it mean that we have similar assumption about life? Or say, death? What do you think about the world? What do you think about me? Why do you think you are interested in me? Friendship? But what good is a friendship that keeps us miles apart?” There were many questions than answers. She did not know what to do with these questions. But these questions would not allow her to sit quiet.

“I am fond of the chrysanthemum. I expect life to be delicate as a flower”. Next morning, she emailed just a single line reply to her unseen lover. She knew that life has been most often harsh to her. But she had dreamt of a life with a bed of roses. She was a practical woman. But who would stop her to imagine a cozy life for herself!

The exchanges continued. In a way, the friendship continued. But was it a friendship? Or something else? What did bind them together? Did they have any motives? They had different profession. They lived in two opposite time zones. They had a completely different life style. And still, they were connected. Was it a pass time? Was it a mere courtesy? She did not know it. Or say, she really did not want to know it. She was always expecting a new email from him.

Again today, she is watching the people walking on the road while she sat on a bench placed at her courtyard. She is immobile; fixed onto a wooden bench. But her mind? It is running faster than the cars on the road. She travels thousands of miles in no seconds to meet her unseen lover. In next few seconds, she returns to her courtyard just to find her heart beating faster than before.


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